Why Perfectionism Causes Unhappiness

Have you ever spent time with perfectionists? Probably yes. Their behavior is quite interesting, and sometimes even entertaining. Perfectionists have a need to achieve perfection in everything they do. From their work to the organization of their stuff – everything has to be in the right place.

They do not want their coffee mug to be slightly turned to the right. They want everything to be in the middle, perfectly lined up. The mind of a perfectionist strives for these extremes.

Why am I a perfectionist?

There are many reasons why people develop perfectionist personalities. In fact, it is often considered a syndrome: “Perfectionist Syndrome” or “Ananchastic Personality Disorder”.

Some experts believe that genetic predisposition may be the reason why one becomes a perfectionist. Other experts believe that it is more likely due to environmental factors, such as:

• Their self-esteem depends on constant praise
• They have been humiliated during their childhood and want to be socially accepted.
• Their parents were very authoritarian.
• They grew up surrounded by successful people and have not become successful themselves.
• They have a very low tolerance for defeat.
• They are aware that society is very competitive.

From birth, we are exposed to constant stimuli that mark us for the rest of our lives. Even though we do not think about it , we are very easily influenced, and having lived through previous situations has its consequences.

The society we live in – with all its norms, laws, trends, ways of looking at the world – makes us want to be better than others. Being a failure is not seen lightly. Society believes that success is true happiness. But can we really live with this pressure? This is where perfectionism begins to become a problem.

Perfectionism does not make me better

To always be right, do things well, do not stray from the path – none of this will make you better. Understand that the more you try to be a perfect person, the less perfect you will be.

People are not perfect, and we should embrace our shortcomings as part of us. They make us who we are. Only when we embrace our shortcomings will we find true happiness. In order to force ourselves to be something we are not going to make us happy. All it does is frustrate and stress us out.

But what does the daily life look like for perfectionists? To begin with, we can say that they live with low self-esteem. So low that not even praise from other people can make them feel better.

Guilt, pessimism and obsession are three words that perfectly define them. For they will never achieve what they want; this because absolute perfection is impossible to achieve.

This will often cause them to fall into depression, for disappointments and frustrations will come one by one.

They become very inflexible and cannot be spontaneous. Nothing with them is natural anymore; they become stiff and without grace.

Like many other symptoms , perfectionism can also be overcome. As long as people are aware that this attitude does not bring happiness.

When they are aware that they have a problem, that their obsession with perfection is the result of pressure they have suffered, they will be able to take the first step towards acceptance.

It is true that the quest to improve ourselves is very positive. We should all learn to be better, but never let yourself fall victim to perfectionism.

We should embrace inadequacy and give everything we have for all we can, but without becoming obsessed with achieving something we will never be able to achieve.