What Kind Of Love Is Best?

Have you ever asked yourself what kind of love is best? Or maybe you are wondering now if there are even different types of love? Maybe maybe not. One thing that is certain is that emotions can differ depending on what stage you are in.

Politician Benjamin Disraeli said that “the magic of first love is our misconception that it can never end “. It is quite possible that he is right. Who has not experienced the first romance where every touch of the other person’s skin seemed to burn from the passion that was ignited?

But beyond the noble romance that our culture has led us to believe in in connection with first love, this does not seem to be the kind of love that is best. At least that’s what some experts believe.

According to psychologists Cristina Callao and Robert Epstein, there are different types of love. Despite the culture of passionate love, reality looks different. The things you read in romantic novels are actually misleading idealizations.

The above-mentioned psychologists tried to question the idea of ​​the “other half”; the perception that you think you need someone else to feel complete. According to Callao, in this situation one partner is completely absorbed by the other, which leads to him losing his individuality.

But while it may be true that youth generally leads to passionate and unforgettable love, it is no less true that there are better alternatives. The young partner, whose embrace made you feel total happiness and whose distance gave rise to great suffering, is nowhere near being your best kind of love.

However, the human brain tends to idealize what produces nostalgia. You can see this belief reflected when people talk about “the good old days”. However, this does not seem to be true. The truth is that passionate young romance often suffers due to a lack of sincerity and security.

Experts believe that mature love is the best type. Why? For many reasons:

• It develops when we are older and have clearer perceptions of what we want.
• It is infused with security and peace, which everyone needs.
• The emotional health of adult love is much more fruitful.
• It has benefits at the individual and relational levels.

Of course, few poets praise mature love because it may lack the intensity of youthful passion. But the bond created between partners in a mature relationship is based on wholeness and trust, and less on emotional intensity.

Modern society and popular culture have instilled in us the idea of ​​romantic love. Many people dream of experiencing a deep, intense love that changes their lives. But in most cases, the change is not for the better.

The idealization of romantic love prevents us from having a clear, distinct view of reality. In this way, many people end up in toxic, tumultuous, painful relationships that become impossible. According to Epstein, we are infused with a very unrealistic view of love, which makes it seem unattainable to ordinary mortals. Furthermore, the formation we have experienced since childhood is so strong that we rarely stop making the mistake of trying to find romance “like the one you see in movies”.

But patterns of idealization can change. Despite the fact that they are implicit attitudes in the brain, we have the power to reshape their configuration. In this way, the learning process, which begins with the first romantic relationship, can be developed so that you can find more mature, sensible and peaceful relationships.

Psychologists recommend prioritizing one’s feelings of attraction, respect and appreciation. Therefore, honest, empathetic, non-defensive people with a good sense of humor can form the happiest, most sincere, long lasting relationships. So to answer the question “what kind of love is best?”, Experts say the answer is: mature love.