What Is The Most Important Ingredient For A Happy Life?

What is the most important ingredient for a happy life? Science has given us a variety of answers to this question, especially over the last five years. Some say wealth, others say religion, and others say family is the most important thing.

However, there is one factor that consistently repeats itself and generates great debate: the impact of our childhood on our development as adults. During our first years of life, we get a way of seeing the world that cannot be easily changed or replaced. On the other hand, this way of looking at the world is really influenced by a significant factor… Can you guess which one it is?

This factor is emotional bonding, warmth and attention. In a word, love.

This aspect and its effect on a happy life was studied very specifically in a study recently conducted by researchers at Harvard (Vaillant, 2012). The purpose of the study was to compare the effects of financial wealth in childhood with that of warmth and tenderness in childhood. They followed 200 men (yes, only men) over the course of 70 years, and they reached some very interesting conclusions.

They established that financial wealth in childhood has little to do with success, satisfaction and the ability to adapt in adulthood. Parental love and attention throughout childhood is the most positive and powerful indicator.

Some people will ask themselves: “What kind of problems lead to a lack of love in some cases? Do not all parents love their children in a natural and unconditional way? ”

In addition to feeling loved , a child must feel known by his parents. Children must feel that their parents know them and love them as they are, love their strengths and weaknesses, qualities, personalities, what they like and dislike, etc.… Children must feel that their parents really see them and know them well.

This is a love that can only feel truthful and genuine. It helps to promote a healthy self-esteem that consists of a strong sense of identity and resilient self-esteem.

A common question is: “When you were growing up, did you know that your parents loved you? Or do you just want to believe that your parents loved you? ” This is an important distinction to make due to the fact that a person may know that someone loves them without actually feeling it.

For example; if your parents (in addition to making sure your basic needs were met – clothes, food, housing and education) talked to you, cared about you, asked how you felt or what you cared about, then your parents really knew you and you knew they loved you.

If your childhood was like that, it is likely that you have gained a good foundation for a successful life. You probably know yourself well and you have and know your personal preferences, your weaknesses and your strengths.

If, on the other hand, your childhood was not as described above, it is possible that you have not received many positive things from your childhood. We often look back and do not know how well our past connects to our present and what we hope for our future.

Practicing introspection can help us if we do it well and thoughtfully, by not only thinking about what is slowing us down, but also identifying the inhibiting or hidden elements that hinder us in various ways and that we have not even considered before.

Why is love so important in the first years of childhood? There are many reasons. Perhaps the first and most important thing is that it forms the basis of trust. Not only self-confidence but also trust and confidence in others. In this case, we are talking about “blind trust” and the ability to trust and trust someone else without feeling like you have to look over your shoulder.

Another secondary cause has to do with learning. A child who has received healthy love has also learned to give and express healthy love. In addition, a child who has had the opportunity to develop strong and healthy bonds with others has a greater and better ability to see the very effects of generosity, commitment and unconditional support.

All in all, children who have received love while growing up have been able to enjoy their childhood. The number of toys or the type of school they went to does not matter. If they felt loved, they were mostly happy and often felt as if they had everything in the world, even if they still wanted that little thing or piece of candy they did not get.

We can say that a simple childhood does not guarantee success in adulthood, just as a childhood with grief and abuse does not guarantee failure. But what is certain is that those who have received love during their childhood, who have felt loved and protected, enter adulthood with an important advantage.

That being said , we as adults are responsible for our children, but also for all the other children who play, laugh and cry. As a society and humanity, we must always be aware of what we are planting in the consciousness of today’s children because it is likely to guide their lives tomorrow.