What I Wish People Understood About Losing A Child

What I would like people to understand about losing a child is that no one is prepared for this. One should therefore take advantage of every moment because nothing in life is safe or guaranteed, not even that the children will survive their parents.

There is one aspect that unites all the people who have gone through the process of losing a child, and that is the feeling of loneliness and the lack of understanding. Many people feel isolated because they think no one can understand their pain.

First of all, one should understand that there are no strategies when it comes to dealing with the pain when one has lost a child.

What you should know, however, is that you should never face it alone. The family should unite and heal together to learn to live with this void. We therefore want you to take part in the simple reflections that we share today.

To have to fight every day against the paralysis of the soul

Losing a child from one day to the next is something that will turn the world upside down. It is something that our mind has a hard time understanding. And we lose our breath, as if we had lost our soul…

This is something we should avoid. Our mind is unable to cope with what has happened. However, our own grieving process can help us deal with these emotions.

We should avoid isolating ourselves as this loneliness increases paralysis. It is important to get help from family, friends and a psychologist if needed to help us.

One should learn to live with grief

It is true that it is not possible to get over a child’s death. Getting over means that you break free and this is something that no one can do. You cannot get over this inner void.

• Losing a child means that we must allow ourselves to cry and at the same time get to the point where we accept what happened. We learn to live with this emptiness, but we are aware that sorrow will always be in our hearts.
• However, there will come a day when the pain is not as strong and when we will be able to breathe without it hurting, and move forward without the soul weighing.
• Because when we live again , we honor the memory of those who are no longer with us.

You should not neglect your partner

Losing a child is a difficult time in the relationship and this leaves a big void, but one should not let this ruin family life.

• It is important to avoid blaming others. In these cases, one’s own silence can be harmful and destructive.
• One should respect how each person handles this pain. There are those who find it easier to open up, but there are also those who will need more time, and this is something we should learn to understand.
• Intimacy, compromise and passion are three cornerstones that should still be present in the relationship. If we continue to nurture these, the relationship will continue to move forward. If we just show emptiness and silence, the relationship will slowly fade away.

Losing a child and dealing with siblings’ grief

Children react differently to death than ourselves. And we should understand their own process, especially if they are between 6 and 10 years old.

It is recommended that children express their feelings and that we deal with their confusion and emotional pain. We should teach them to channel their pain and free themselves.

We should continue to make plans for the future, allow ourselves to smile again and cherish the memory of those who no longer exist. We learn to live without the child who will always remain in our hearts. Life will be different after this passing, no doubt, but we must allow ourselves to be happy again. You should not feel ashamed.

Photos by Lucy Campbell and Claudia Tremblay.