The Suffering That Goes Hand In Hand With Love

Love means enduring things, love means enduring, love sometimes means suffering. Love means giving without expecting anything in return. That is what we have all heard about love from a very young age. They have said that this goes hand in hand with love. This gives rise to a pressure that sometimes makes us desperately look for a partner so as not to be alone. Otherwise, life will pass us by.

When it comes to all this talk about love, there is something that no one has ever told us; maybe because no one believes it. And it is that it is impossible to have love without suffering. In fact, this is the true meaning of love.

This urgency to find a partner sometimes causes us not to choose the right one. Our partner will simply be the first person we find on the street who is willing to take on this role. In addition, if you have very low self-esteem and do not give yourself the appreciation you deserve, then this devastating attitude will become even more likely.

Having a romantic partner is not the most important thing in the world. It is not synonymous with happiness. Sometimes it even becomes something very difficult instead.

I do not know if you have ever asked yourself this question, maybe you have. But you are wrong if you think that your suffering is due to bad luck. You think that only bad people will come into your life or that no one will ever love you. Maybe the reason you always come across the same types of people is that you choose them or at least let them in. Think about it. Have you ever rejected someone who really liked you?

You may have very low self-esteem, you may choose the first person who becomes interested in you. Regardless of how it is, you can interpret the fact that you are injured as that you may be harming yourself. Why do not you think you really have a great value? Why do you hold your ears when someone says how much he likes you and gives you kind words?

We should change this heading to “Why do I always hurt myself?” or “Why do I always let others hurt me?”.

You probably have some experience with words that have been forgotten. Words that lack coherence with the actions that accompany them. Words that enlighten you, that make you forget reality and that make you sink into a dream. A dream where that person is the one you will spend the rest of your life with. The person who will make you happy.

You had given everything for this person, you had been willing to fight for the relationship. But who has said that love is not a constant struggle?

Giving everything in a relationship when the other person gives 25% will after a while make you doubt what the person feels for you. You will break down and stop thinking about yourself. You will no longer take care of yourself and you will no longer dress as you normally would if you are not with that person.

You will always be aware of the person and will always try to make the person like you… Do you still ask yourself why people hurt you in the end?

It is possible to love without having to suffer if you stop seeing your relationships as something logical or necessary. You need to stop thinking that love can be reduced to pain, effort, struggle, endurance and giving everything to the other person – these are things that do not go hand in hand with love.

To be able to love without suffering, you must first know what you want. But most of all, you need to learn to be happy with yourself.

If you feel good and are happy to be yourself, then you are ready to be happy with someone else. Because you know that if the person disappears or things do not work, you will be okay and be able to continue to be happy. Because you were already happy before that person came into your life.

When you know what you want and know what your values ​​are, you will discover the limits that you do not want to exceed… that is when you can choose consciously. Think about whether that person who says the sweet words to you is really the one you want by your side. Let yourself be swept away by your emotions and the initial madness, but do not be fooled.

Do not be filled with unrealistic expectations and hopes for the future. Do not think that “yes, he will change over time” and that this goes hand in hand with love. Choose someone based on the present and not based on how you imagine the person in the future.

You will probably first think that you are too picky or demanding. Many people around you will say that if you continue along this path, you will never find a partner. But this does not have to happen, you know it will be good. Having someone by your side is not a condition of being happy.

We have come to mix love with ownership, with suffering and to give everything of itself… This beautiful feeling has become something that sometimes means suffering. We enter the relationship and give 100% while the other person gives less than half. And then we expect the person to change! We hold on to the person so much that he begins to pull away to search for some air, and we become nervous and afraid that the person will abandon us.

Loving without suffering becomes possible when we learn to treat our partner as someone who is independent of us. This is what really goes hand in hand with love. As a person who has come into our lives, but who can choose to leave us or take some distance from us. Just like a friend or sibling can do.

Your life and your happiness can not depend on having someone by your side or not. For the only person you will be able to count on until the end of your days is none other than yourself.