The Kübler-Ross Model For The Phases Of Grief

The Kübler-Ross model is probably the most well-known theory of how we deal with the five phases of death and grief. This theory holds that there are five different phases that we humans go through when dealing with a death, whether it concerns ourselves or someone close to us. However, because Kübler-Ross’s studies have become very popular, they have often been misinterpreted, probably because they have not always been correctly explained on every occasion.

In 1969, psychologist Elizabeth Kübler-Ross conducted some studies on dying patients. She wanted to find out what factors come into play when we face death. After a long period of research, she realized that her patients showed very similar stages. She then began to develop her theory of the phases of grief.

In this article, we will try to shed light on the Kübler-Ross model of the phases of grief. We will start by explaining the different steps. After that, we will reflect a little on the evidence behind them and what all this means.

The phases of grief according to Kübler-Ross

What is meant by the five phases of grief is the attitudes that we humans have when we face death. This is what your mind does when it tries to solve the problem. But since it is not a problem we can really solve, our emotions go unchecked until we reach a place of acceptance.

The five phases

• Denial. This is about denying or ignoring death when it is imminent. It can happen in the full sense (“There is no possibility that I am dying”) or in part (“I have cancer, but it is not so serious”). Denial is basically your ego that takes a defensive attitude. Your mind is trying to find a way to maintain your well-being, even if it is a situation where it is powerless.

• Anger. Anger is a feeling that arises when we have to face an obstacle. After receiving terrible news, it is common for our bodies to try to solve the problem through anger. It can target many victims or targets, including yourself, your doctors, or even God.
• Negotiation. When you notice that anger cannot solve the problem, it is time for the negotiation to begin. You desperately ask for fate or some divinity to have death postponed. It is quite common for people to become docile and accommodating in the hope that they will live longer as a reward for their newfound holiness. For example, they follow their medical prescriptions to the letter.
• Depression. Depression appears when an illness gets worse, or when the horrible reality becomes clear. You end up in a severe depression because you feel deeply powerless. But this deep sorrow also means that you are wasting fewer resources on an unsolvable problem.

• Approval. Once you have left the feeling of powerlessness behind you, you move on to a much less intense, much more neutral state of mind. But that does not mean you still do not have your moments of weakness. When you are in the acceptance stage, you internalize everything that has happened and look up and look to the future. You may also begin to reinterpret the meaning of the loss without blaming anyone or anything.

Evidence for the theory and what it means

The Kübler-Ross model has been criticized. A common, understandable critique has to do with how rigid the original theory was. According to the first version, the grieving process of going through the steps was described as going through them one by one in a certain sequence, and that one had to move on to the next step in order not to get stuck in the step where one was. There was no flexibility.

But recent research and perhaps some of your personal experiences show that this is not true. It is common for people to go backwards or skip one of the phases of grief. There are also people who go through the stages in a completely different order.

But it is still true that every phase plays an important role. The steps agree quite well with how most people process their grief. But perhaps the best thing is to interpret the different states of mind as attitudes to loss, not phases.

The Kübler-Ross model is incomplete, true. But it is a big step forward in our understanding of grief. Her research has helped us gain a much deeper understanding of the emotions we go through after a loss.

As a result, we have learned how to handle and treat grieving people better as their emotions are normalized through the model. The Kübler-Ross model has also helped psychologists to be able to treat expected losses, as in the case of palliative care.