Suffering In Silence Is So Frighteningly Human

Many of us do. We hide in our little shells to suffer in silence and loneliness so that no one notices. We stick to a brave expression and pretend that nothing is wrong, when we are actually fighting countless battles inside. Until something happens – until one day we can no longer cope and break down.

We are social beings, yet most of us choose to suffer in silence. We prefer to share laughter and good times. We stick to routines with the people around us because we then feel that we have some control. As if there was nothing that devoured us from within.

Something both psychologists and psychiatrists are well aware of is that trauma and silence almost always go hand in hand. It’s not easy to talk out loud about the things that hurt us.

There are two specific reasons why: we are afraid of being judged and above all of showing our vulnerability. Because in this relentless world, strong personalities win. Those who harden everything, do not complain and instead are the height of optimism and self-confidence.

It is devastating to realize that it is still a stigma to suffer in today’s society. Unfortunately, there are so many people with depression who still go without treatment. The suicide rate among young people has actually skyrocketed.

Think about it for a moment.

Not so long ago , a well-known newspaper published a personal letter from a woman who said that she could no longer continue with her life. She had become a mother for the third time and felt that she could not get out of bed.

Strange as it may seem, 80% of the comments were condescending and sometimes almost cruel. Postpartum depression is still a taboo subject even today. If a woman experiences this condition after giving birth, she is stigmatized almost immediately.

This is because society expects her to be perfect and happy. Unfortunately, therefore, many mothers go through this period behind closed doors, in a private and almost brutal way. All because of their fear of criticism from the outside world.

The same thing happens with teenagers. Boys and girls fall victim to bullying, but suffer in silence and do not ask for help. They hide in the solitude and secrecy of their room, the only place where they feel safe. It’s not enough.

We must act before it is too late, before our will becomes even weaker and our lives feel meaningless.

The first reason to stop suffering in silence is simple and obvious. If you do not, the suffering will continue. If you do not take the step to ask for help, the pain will only get worse; it will be a long, suffocating and destructive silence.

• The symptoms will become even more resistant. We cease to be human and become pure pain. The symptoms will be much more complex.
• Negative thoughts will intensify. We will be imprisoned in our own personal prison.
• A moment will come when social contact becomes unpleasant for us, which leads to us rejecting it. Hugs, emotional affection and kind words will lose their meaning. We look at them with suspicion and interpret them as threats.

• Postponing the need to seek help will make the condition more difficult to treat.
• We perpetuate the stigma. By not taking the step, by not letting ourselves get professional help or communicating what has happened to someone we trust, we will only nurture the perception that trauma and suffering go hand in hand with silence.

Suffering isolates us, but connecting with our fellow human beings and ourselves is therapeutic. When we share our vulnerabilities and pains with the right person or a well-qualified expert, we will take two steps forward.

The first is because we have stopped sabotaging ourselves. No one chooses to undergo postpartum depression; no one deserves to fall victim to bullying or be a slave during a traumatic past or a lost childhood. No one deserves to take such bad care of themselves that you no longer love yourself.

The second benefit we will get is emotional cleansing. Many people come to psychotherapy wearing an armor of anger. In fact, they are just trying to hide their vulnerability.

The therapy will ultimately encourage reconciliation and proper connections with the environment. Then the chains will fall one by one. It is a slow, traditional process, there is no doubt about that. But it is something we all deserve: to stop suffering in silence and to have someone who understands and helps us.

Let’s take a second to think about it. Let us come out of loneliness so that we can be ourselves again, without fear.

Last but not least , we must remember that suffering changes us. It chops away pieces of us until we become another person. We cease to be our true selves. And it’s not something anyone deserves.