Say Goodbye To The Role Of Victim
Saying goodbye to the role of victim once and for all is the key to living a happy life. No one wants to be a victim, but the truth is that we sometimes think it helps us. It seems, for example, that we can then demand attention in situations where we otherwise would not be able to.
Life is often hard and difficult, both for ourselves and the rest of the world. Everyone will encounter adversity at some point in life. Some are tougher and some are easier, but it seems clear that adversity is also part of living.
The most important thing is to be aware, as the great Buddha said, that pain is inevitable but that one chooses to suffer. We do not have the ability to choose what will reach us in life. We can make decisions that are more or less correct, but nothing guarantees us a life without pain. However, we can always choose how we prefer to handle the problems.
To be stuck in the role of victim
We have all come across someone who constantly complains about everything by assuming the role of an injured or injured person. These people often blame the world and others, but they do not do much to get out of the situation. Does this sound familiar?
There are people who are stuck in the role of victim, which is the tendency to think that you are unhappy. They try to convey that others want them badly even though this is not the case. Maybe they really believe this or they’re just playing.
The people around them try in vain to help them, which only strengthens their pessimistic attitude, and in the end everyone suffers. But those who suffer the most are the victims themselves, because very few times do they stop feeling bad. They often have low self-esteem and believe that they will receive care and attention.
How do you recognize people who play the role of victim?
They want others to acknowledge their suffering
When their immediate circle tries to help them, they feel attacked because they are trying to amplify this condition. They rather want people to agree that life treats them badly. If you try to get them to take charge of their lives and find solutions, they will be offended and say that you do not understand them or that you do not want to put themselves in their shoes.
They try to blame others and life
We mentioned earlier that although it is true that life brings many adversities, it is how we deal with them that determines our level of happiness.
Blaming others and the world is unprofitable. This attitude only aggravates the problem and makes us victims without resources. The people who place themselves in this role do not seek solutions, but they want to protest against the injustices of life until they and others become exhausted.
They manipulate others emotionally
They use a tactic where they provoke sadness in others to gain certain privileges.
Some phrases may sound like this: “I have raised you since childhood and now you will live with your partner and leave me alone”, “If you get good grades, mother will be cured”. In this way, they place the responsibility on the other person.
What do we do with these people?
Do not simply play their games. If we participate in emotional blackmail with those who want to play victims, we will strengthen them but not help them. The problem is that it is very difficult to do this because our culture has taught us from an early age that we must show care for those who suffer and help others.
When dealing with a family member, it becomes even more complicated… Who would not want to help their mother who says she is sick, depressed or sad, even if she does nothing to get out of this?
Anyone would have taken issue with this and wanted to defend her, but that is not the solution because we reinforce the phenomenon that she is complaining and doing nothing about her situation. It is difficult, but we must identify this attitude and help the person in a way that does not reinforce it.
We should tell the person that we are here to help them find a solution to the problem. But not to hear his complaints or get infected with negativity. Otherwise, the “victim” will not understand that he should change.
