Remember You Are More Than Your Mistakes
Do you feel that you are your own harshest critic? You judge yourself for every little failure, mistake or unattainable goal. Not only that, but you carry the burden of these mistakes for years. If you knew how much this attitude has the ability to damage your self-esteem, you would probably change your habits. You are more than your mistakes. Stop letting yourself be defined by them.
Most of us have a bad habit of labeling ourselves. If you think for a second, you will realize that you are talking about yourself all day, often in a negative way. When we say “talk”, we include your inner dialogue.
Labels are seldom useful because they limit you, especially when you have a habit of using negative words to define yourself. “I was always a bad student”, “I have bad luck in love” or “I have been really shy since I was little” are some examples. You will not be able to feel good about yourself if you define yourself in this way.
You are more than your mistakes
Everyone has expectations of themselves in different aspects of their lives. We usually define ourselves by our achievements. As a result, failure of something has a significant negative impact on your identity. Thus, you feel incapable and inadequate. You forget that your essence and your inherent value do not have much to do with your final achievement.
Do not let yourself be defined by classmates who rejected you in high school or your failed relationships. So you are more than that job you did not get or the test you failed. The friendships you have lost over the years and the fears you still carry with you are not who you really are.
You are not what others think of you, nor the times you have lost your temper during an argument. You are not your failed attempts or the times you chose not to try. The stupid thing you said or how others hurt you does not define you. These are lessons, not life sentences. You are more than your mistakes.
Do not let external factors define you
When you shape your identity and measure your value through external factors, you give up your power over yourself. Maybe your family is your life and you define yourself as a mother and wife. Even if it seems unlikely, what if your marriage ends one day? Or maybe your profession is the most important thing in your life and your job means everything to you. But what would happen if you got fired?
It is really dangerous to define yourself according to something outside of yourself, because ultimately everything is externally out of your control. If you simply base your identity on your job or your family and suddenly become “the divorced man” or “the unemployed woman”, your sense of failure will be overwhelming. In that context, it is very difficult to move forward.
Every mistake is a step towards success
The healthier option is to remember that your value is inherent and unconditional. It does not depend on external factors. If you can adopt that kind of attitude towards yourself and towards life, you will realize that you are more than your mistakes. You begin to see them as lessons. When you love yourself, accept yourself and value yourself unconditionally, you will be able to skip all the obstacles that come your way, as long as they do not affect how you see yourself.
It does not matter if you make mistakes, fall or feel scared. You are still you and you matter. When you love yourself, mistakes lose their significance. Instead, they become lessons that will help you to improve. Each “failure” becomes a step towards success because they make you wiser and more experienced.
Resistant people are by definition happier and more successful because they can overcome adversity and be positively transformed by their experiences. The only way to achieve that is to understand that change is part of the journey. Making a mistake is human. Do not define yourself by your mistakes or your achievements. Appreciate yourself unconditionally.
