I Need Help: I’m Tired Of Doing Everything Myself

I need help. I have used all my strength. I’m tired of doing everything myself and pretending I can even though I can not. I need a helping hand that can and wants to guide me. We have all experienced such occasions, where the only thing you can do is ask for help. Getting help from someone else allows us to approach a problem from a different perspective.

It is said that all unhappy people have one thing in common: bitterness. However, bitterness can not be fixed with just a home remedy because it comes from different places. Some people try to normalize it by accepting it as a part of life. They use this acceptance to grow even bitterer. Repentance, mistakes and distorted thoughts turn into fire on the wood of bitterness.

Not saying “I need help” when you need it is not a sign of strength. It is a sign of weakness. You can not expect others to know what is wrong just because you think they should know it. No one can read your mind. You must dare to ask for help. Closed mouths get no food. Although it is usually easier to offer help than to ask for it, there will come a time when you need to ask for help.

In 1950, Albert Ellis, a famous psychotherapist, developed what we know today as rational behavioral therapy. There is something worth mentioning regarding this approach. We often sink into a state of complete helplessness and despair. We believe that life cannot get worse; that you are like a paper boat drifting away. However, Ellis used to say that “It is not what affects you, but how you react that matters”.

It is very valuable to have someone who can make us see this. We all know that it is not so easy to say what we need help with. So how do you do that? It may sound strange, but the one who wants to help you the least when you ask for it is usually the one you actually need help from.

The person who needs the most help is also usually the one who is used to giving help and not receiving. So when you finally take that step and demand to be heard and taken care of, you do it because you can not continue any more. You have reached your end point.

How do you handle your reality? If you think it is out of your control, you need to ask for help. Let’s take a closer look at this. You should ask for help then:

• Everything feels too intense. A simple mistake becomes fatal or a bad mood lasts for days or maybe weeks. Something you are disappointed with paralyzes you or you become overwhelmed by something you did not expect.

• There are some things you can not stop thinking about. Thoughts give rise to emotions that can affect your daily chores and responsibilities.
• You get recurrent headaches as well as problems with digestion and muscle pain. You start to suffer from insomnia or sleep too long instead.
• You no longer like what you used to like.
• You are no longer productive at work.
• If your relationships are affected, you may hear things like “You make everything so complicated. I can not even talk to you ”. Your loved ones also express that they are worried about you.

When you say “I need help” you should look for three things. Someone who understands you, someone who does not judge you, and someone who can offer you the resources you need to make a positive change. This person is often a family member that you have often turned to before when you have been in trouble. However, there are things that are so personal that we do not feel comfortable going to even these people. That’s when you need to talk to a specialist.

A trained and qualified psychologist will give you very specific tools that you can use to deal with your situation. When you go to a psychologist:

• Will you learn to see your problems from a different perspective. It’s a perspective where you have no boundaries. You will also learn to stop the role of victim, and instead become someone who takes hold of things and changes their own reality.

• You will also learn to see things more clearly. The new information will help you discover yourself.
• You will not receive specific instructions regarding what you should and should not do. A psychologist makes it easier for you, but in the end it is you who makes the decisions.
• You will be able to alleviate your suffering through new perspectives and by doing things differently.
• You will also get resources to deal with emotions and avoid harmful thought patterns. You will also learn techniques for self-control.
• You will be able to decide what your priorities are and achieve them in the best way.

By going to a psychology, you will adopt an attitude where you are focused on personal development, where you become more self-aware so that you can approach life with courage, openness and responsibility.

Dare to ask for help

Dare to say “I need help” is sometimes quite difficult. But doing so is a big step.

It can be a good decision to ask for help and support from a specialist, because whether you want it or not, you can not do everything yourself. There are times when therapy is the perfect tool for you to achieve a change in your life.