Do You Tend To Lose Control When You Get Angry?

Do you have trouble controlling your anger? Do you have a tendency to take out the first thing that comes to mind and then regret it? Do you usually lose control? Why is this happening? What is behind the anger that you have such big problems to deal with?

In this article, we analyze the possible causes behind this loss of control. We tell in what way it is linked to poor self-control and low frustration tolerance. But these are not the only reasons. During all this, there is also usually a layer of grief that we do not know how to face, as well as other possible feelings and emotions.

Before we get to these causes, we give you some advice to help you deal with that anger healthily, because self-control is a skill you can practice!

When I get angry I tend to lose control – what’s wrong with me?

When some people get angry, they tend to lose control completely. They feel that the anger is absolutely overwhelming. But why is this happening? What’s wrong with them? What is behind this unbridled anger?

To understand this, we must first look at the concept of “self-control”. Then we also look at other factors that can cause this loss of self-control, ie. circumstances that increase the likelihood that you will act impulsively.

The importance of self-control

Self-control is defined as the ability to master one’s feelings, behaviors, thoughts and desires. It also includes the ability to control and manage one’s own body.

In some ways, self-control is part of our emotional intelligence, which is why it is so important to work with it in children from a young age. Through self-control, one can learn to deal with anger and other basic emotions.

As we can see, self-control is the ability to manage and control not only how you behave, but also how you think and how you react to emotions. Very often, emotions can overwhelm you, but that does not mean you should allow yourself to lose control of different situations. Self-control, like many other skills, is something you can train and that you can improve with time, perseverance and effort.

How to avoid losing control

Self-control allows you to handle moments of rage or anger when you start screaming or displaying behaviors that you do not want. But how can you put it into practice? Here are some important ideas that can help you:

• Start by identifying exactly what you want to control. Is it anger? Is it rage? Or is it frustration?
• Investigate the causes of the anger or rage. Is it really anger or are you masking other emotions? (For example, grief).

• Look out for the “no return” item. This is the moment when you know you will lose your composure, lose control and “explode”. Identify it and look for a way to stop it in time.
• Practice breathing. Just when you feel that point when there is no return is near, you can do some breathing exercises. Close your eyes, place your hand on your stomach and feel how the air first enters and then leaves your body.
• Look for alternative behaviors to anger to avoid being controlled by it. These can be the breathing exercises we have already mentioned or other measures you can take. You can play some music, take a relaxing bath, paint or draw, write down your feelings or go out and walk.

Why do I behave like this?

We have looked at some suggestions for how you can work with self-control and manage anger in a healthy way. But while we use these techniques , it is also important to understand what is happening to you. Why do you act like this when you get angry?

Having poor self-control causes you to act in this way, lose control and control over the situation, and become engrossed in anger.

On the other hand, low frustration tolerance may also be behind these behaviors. Being an impulsive and temperamental person can also contribute to this type of situation.

The good news is that all of these circumstances can be addressed in therapy. To delve deeper into why this “loss of control” occurs when you get angry, allows you to find strategies to improve your self-control. As a result, you will also improve your well-being.

The wound behind the anger

Sometimes an emotional wound can be behind anger and rage. A certain situation may cause the wound to open, or it may be because a person inadvertently hits a sore spot. Anger and rage are emotions that often obscure other emotions, such as sadness or disappointment.

By not knowing how to face or deal with this grief (or not be able to accept it), we resort to something more emotional: anger. We do this to try to distract ourselves from these uncomfortable feelings.

What happens when you do not handle your anger properly? You’m exploding. So if you often lose control and say things you later regret, we encourage you to seek help.

Understanding your own feelings and why they occur will help you get to know yourself better. Despite your shortcomings, it will help you get better with each passing day. Learn to live with them, use them to improve yourself and try not to ignore them.