Do You Have A Scary Personality?
There is a difference between having a strong character and developing a scary personality. Some people have to struggle and toil all their lives. This dampens their character, but can also ruin their caution. The worst thing is that the battles they fight make them constantly defensive. They always have their shields up and feel that they are in enemy territory.
We all know people who seem tough on the outside, but who have a big heart. They are often professionally and socially successful, but there is an aura of fear around them. They react strongly to things and others are sometimes afraid of them.
People with frightening personalities often do not realize the effect they have on other people. They know they are good people and do not understand why others are intimidated by their overly tough way of expressing themselves.
To find out if you fall into this category, ask yourself if you have one or more of the following traits.
If people around you remain silent after you speak, it’s time to ask yourself if you have a scary personality. It is possible that you are too abrupt when you speak. You may be too cross or absolute when you express yourself. It is also possible that others admire you so much that they do not want to disappoint you.
It works like this: you do not express your opinions, but present conclusions. It’s like saying the last word. Your words suggest that answers are not allowed and will not be considered.
This is to basically end the conversation. You speak so that others will listen to you and use an authoritative tone. In this situation, not everyone will be inclined to continue talking.
When you have a scary personality, your presence can dampen the mood in an otherwise lively and participatory meeting. People become silent when you arrive or seem uncomfortable. You may realize that people do not act spontaneously when you are nearby.
People who have scary personalities tend to be overly honest. They brag about being honest and not being careful about what they think and feel. However, they may have mixed sincerity with being rude or insensitive.
These types of personalities tend to dismiss kind behavior. They feel that the more raw and direct the delivery is, the truer it is. They assume that by having a little pace, one is in fact falsifying or hiding the truth. They do not see the difference between kindness and flattery.
The truth is that by saying the “truth” in an excessively rude way, you only make people sad. Sometimes the truth is told in such a brutal way that the listener completely forgets the content. She only remembers how it was delivered.
If you say things rudely, at the end of the day you will not have anyone listening to you.
If you have a frightening personality, it is difficult for you to understand the weaknesses and fragility of others. When someone tells you about a problem, you energetically urge them to solve it as soon as possible. You feel that the other person needs an authoritative voice telling him to overcome the situation, not a shoulder to cry on.
The bottom line is that people go through moments when they need emotional support from other people. We do not want them to feel sorry for us, just that they should listen and be there without judging. We do not want anyone to tell us what to do. Often we do not ask others to tell us which way to go, but only need comfort as we gather.
Having a scary personality causes other people to distance themselves. Being so tough on the outside makes you isolate yourself from affection and warmth. An excessively defensive attitude usually turns on you in the end.
Maybe you’re not a “Mary Poppins” or “Mother Teresa”, but that does not mean you have to be overly harsh towards everyone else. You have a lot to share, so it’s worth your time to consider how you relate to and communicate with others.
