Dealing With Hypersensitive People

Some people go through life by being careful about what they say so as not to disturb hypersensitive people, or highly sensitive people as they also say.

But when phrases such as “I’m sorry” and “do not get angry” become frequent in their lives, they will only cause slow self-destruction.

In a way, we are all like spinners spinning in a room full of people. Sometimes we hit each other, and that’s normal. But in the nervous relationship dance, we sometimes come across people who are extremely sensitive. They are so sensitive that all they do is react to one trampling after another.

We are, of course, talking about hypersensitive people. They are experts in suffering and spreading this suffering. They tend to embody victim mentality, insecurity and lack of self-esteem. They are slaves to other people’s opinions and constantly force other feelings of guilt.

You need to be careful when establishing an emotional relationship with this type of person, because you will have to spend your whole life thinking about the smallest detail, choosing the right words, gestures and actions so that they do not feel offended or worried.

This, of course, goes on until you gradually crush your own self-esteem by constantly saying “sorry, it was my fault” . Avoid such dynamics.

“Do not get angry, it will not happen again”, “calm down, do not get angry, it was my fault”. When you constantly have to say phrases like these, you are probably trapped in a complicated, psychological maze. You must apologize for alleviating the trampling, which is almost always unjustified. You may even think that it is better to take the blame to reduce the person’s anger.

But living with all this weight on your shoulders will deprive you of your emotional integrity day by day. This is called “defensive guilt” – a mechanism that victims of emotional blackmail tend to use to protect themselves from powerlessness.

This is really a complicated subject. Remember that hypersensitive people are very vulnerable. Despite the fact that their low self-esteem leads them to make interpretations through a lens of victim mentality, do not forget that they can sometimes become very aggressive.

Relationships with people like these almost always become a ritual. Everything will flow well as long as you give in, lower your head and honor them through your actions and words. In this way, you will prevent the demon of sensitivity from showing its ugly face.

When you are stuck in this circle and do not react to it, you will become like a fragile moth flying around a flame. You will do this until it finally starts to burn your wings.

You must not flee or break up with the person without first fighting for him. You will regret it if you just distance yourself before fighting for the person. It is always better to do everything you can before making a radical decision. If you love the person, you must fight for him. If the fight turns out to be unprofitable, there is no alternative but to distance yourself from saving your personal and emotional integrity.

It is worth noting that in the 1990s, a series of studies were conducted on hypersensitivity, which found that it is not a disorder, but a personality trait. To understand it better, you need to be able to distinguish between the different types of sensitivity that exist.

The first type of sensitivity is directed at other people’s feelings. The person can feel other individuals’ feelings and feel empathy for them. The second type – which is hypersensitivity – is directed at oneself as a reaction to others. It always takes the form of self-defense.

Never adapt like a glove to a person’s manner, obsessions or clouds of unrest. If you become obsessed with avoiding making the person angry, so that you control every little detail to prevent the individual from exploding, you will lose everything.

Make these people understand that if they are always offended by something, they will only make themselves unhappy and push others away.

Think before you make an assessment or give them your opinion. Think about how tired you are of being their dartboard, of taking the blame, of being the scarecrow who protects and keeps them calm.

You need to be able to strengthen their self-esteem, but also make them value yours. Their skin is very thin, but yours already has too many scars.

Above all , ask for recognition and respect. Because in the end, you will get tired of walking through a minefield, where the slightest mistake makes them explode with anger and resentment. No one can spend every day constantly being alert and stressed. Life is too short to live with fear.