Big Obstacles In The Beginning Of A Relationship
In every relationship, especially in the beginning, there are different obstacles that you have to overcome. This is unavoidable and quite common because you get to know the person deeply and try to get your puzzle to fit in with the other person’s.
You have to deal with certain difficulties in your interactions. Your expectations will slowly fall apart and you will run towards reality. This can lead to a lot of frustration if you have idealized the other person too much.
These obstacles generally result in you getting to know the other person better and your relationship will be shaped by you overcoming them. This is an adaptation process, and you will have to accept complications for what they are. In some cases, you have to be very patient to get over them. This is part of the process of discovering and rediscovering your partner.
Learning to communicate
Communicating and doing well is one of the big challenges a couple has to deal with, especially at the beginning of a relationship, when there is still no shared dynamic. For communication to be healthy, you must learn to express what you need.
A person who has been with you for a long time has probably become an expert at interpreting your non-verbal language, but a new partner will probably find it easier if you set a standard of open communication, rather than being cryptic.
Communication can often be destroyed by misunderstandings and fast, almost automatic interpretations. To get over this, it is good if you always ask before interpreting what others are saying and that you are aware of what they are saying when they talk to you.
Learning to communicate in the relationship is a challenge that you must overcome sooner or later. If you do not learn to communicate, the relationship will fail. It is a cornerstone for the relationship to work properly and therefore this part should not be ignored.
To adjust to reality
Idealization is closely related to falling in love. It is inevitable that you focus more on the good parts with your partner at the beginning of the relationship. But it is also important to try to keep your feet on the ground so that your expectations do not stray too far from reality.
It is important to know that even if your partner has many positive aspects, he also has many aspects that you do not like. True love is found in acceptance, when you are willing to see the other person for what he really is without trying to change him.
Trying to fill the void
Your partner is not there to meet your expectations or to fill the void you have within you. To be with someone to feel less alone and forget previous experiences with another partner is to paddle towards the wrong port. You must fill your own void yourself, even if others may help to gild your existence.
You may not be okay with yourself, but you can not expect your partner to solve your problems and give you the peace and security you need in your life. No one else can do the job required to resolve your internal conflicts, not even your partner.
A healthy relationship consists of being with the other person to share who you are, not to fill a void. If you are escaping from loneliness, you will make the mistake of not learning how to be with yourself.
