An Armor That Is Crushed When You Caress The Soul
An armor is a symbol of suffering too much. It is the protection people choose to use to stop their degradation, to avoid breaking down. It’s a defense mechanism, their temporary rescue and their way of silently saying “enough!” To the world.
Living with an armor is not easy, because beneath it there is a fear of being wounded. This is one of the most paralyzing fears people can have. A fear that makes you create walls, hinder emotions and live a stunned life.
Life wears you down and makes you so exhausted that you prefer to protect yourself and stop feeling as much as possible, instead of experiencing the pain of your wounds.
Life is not a path to guaranteed happiness. Uncertainty, instability and suffering are things you will find along the way. You will confront them better if you are able to anticipate them and prepare yourself. No one is immune to suffering, but it is important to learn to deal with it. Otherwise, the darkness can devour you.
Dealing with blows and healing wounds is not an easy task. You do not always have the best support system, resources or strategies, and when you do, you sometimes do not know how to use them.
Some people handle disappointment and unexpected events better. Others let these things influence their mood. And others decide to protect themselves in order to limit their suffering. The method you use will in one way or another affect your daily life.
But no matter how you confront your suffering, it will generate physical and emotional consequences when it chooses to stay by your side. On the one hand, it catches you in its hesitation, in the absence of motivation and pleasure (anhedonia). If you do not keep an eye on it, it can send you straight to depression or anxiety.
On the other hand, it wears you out physically. It makes you exhausted, eliminates all the energy you have. At a deeper level, it actually reduces the release of serotonin and increases the amount of cortisol in the system.
We all have our own armor, our own defense mechanisms, our personal shield that protects us from pain. It’s a normal part of life. One way or another, you have to guard the most delicate parts of your being. You need to make yourself strong against all possible threats and setbacks.
The problem arises when you put on this armor… but do not crush it later. It thus takes over your life and becomes a very conservative filter through which you observe the world. Building walls isolates you, not only from suffering and uncertainty, but also from affection and social experiences.
In an attempt to protect yourself, you begin to boycott yourself, to the point where you block yourself emotionally. Not to feel not to suffer. You repeat this flawed strategy because at one point it ensured your survival. However, you should be careful, because the price to use it is very high.
The price is that you will be empty inside. This is the fine print of the contract you do not always read or remember when you start creating barriers.
And this emptiness becomes the absence of emotions; an absence of the ability to feel alive and connect with others. Therefore, it is not uncommon for you to sooner or later fall victim to exactly what you dreaded – suffering. Who says you can avoid feeling bad about not feeling anything?
An armor is a subconscious trap that chains you in case of discomfort, disguised as feelings of protection and security. That is why it is so important to identify and reflect on the different types of defense mechanisms.
Often people who hide behind armor tend to use defensive attitudes, to the point that they repel others. Their fear of being hurt is so strong that they, without meaning to, drive everyone away. Even people who intend to get to know and in some cases love them.
This is because many who protect themselves so wildly have suffered a broken heart. To avoid re-experiencing the pain, they therefore act as ferocious animals that protect their territory. The other person, all persons, becomes an enemy. The slightest contact with the armor of someone trying to protect themselves can lead to grief.
How do you break an armor?
What cure can reverse all this damage? Is there a cure that can shatter the armor of people who have suffered so much? Can we help them smash this armor?
First of all , it is important to point out that armor is crushed slowly, a little at a time. It is a process that requires a great deal of love, understanding, patience, acceptance and of course effort.
As you can see, there is no magic solution that fixes this. A deep bond with the other person, and of course with yourself, can help. Everyone who interacts with armored persons must therefore understand that it is not the individual who speaks, but his fear.
It’s a big monster that possesses her and makes her think it’s better not to feel anything to avoid pain. Understanding her pain will be a very important part of the relationship, as well as showing affection and letting go of demands for improvement.
So you have to learn to caress her soul, touch her sensibilities and make her feel protected.
Most of the effort comes from the creator of the armor. She is the one who must understand that suffering will only be greater if it is avoided in the long and medium term. Despite the fact that life is not always easy, suffering is just another chapter in the story.
She must therefore get rid of guilt and the hard, rigid attitude in order to embrace herself and take the first step towards love. To treat oneself well when one is injured is the best healing power.
