5 Effective Ways To Deal With Hurt Feelings

No one teaches you to deal with what directly hurts you. You may have always heard “do not cry”, “time heals all wounds”, “it will pass”… but none of these phrases have helped you. They may even make you feel worse. Therefore, today we propose five ways to deal with hurt feelings.

Ignoring your feelings is not an option. They need a direct confrontation, even if it hurts. You need to tackle them so that they do not continue to hurt for many years.

For this you only need a pencil or a small object that does not break. Hold it in your hand and push as hard as you can, as hard as you can. Now imagine that the object is your feelings, your thoughts or that person who hurt you.

At first it will feel uncomfortable, and then it may start to hurt in the hand. When this happens , release the object, which you visualized as everything that hurt you, and let it fall to the ground. Feel how you could let go. The same thing happens with all these feelings or people who hurt you. You can release them.

When we hold on to certain situations, we believe that they are a part of us, even if they hurt. We do not realize that we are the ones suffering. But you can let go of them at any time.

The second way to deal with hurt feelings is to learn to speak to yourself in a good way. You may think you are already doing it in a positive way, but you will be surprised when you discover that you are using negative phrases and thoughts. To better understand this, we will give you an example.

Imagine that you are in a gym and that someone starts talking to you. When you say goodbye, the other person replies “it was nice to talk”, and it takes you a few seconds to react. You get a little nervous and answer “the same” a little hesitantly. On the way to the locker room, you can not stop thinking about how ridiculous you were and how bad you are at talking to other people.

Being aware of these situations is important. Is it positive to stand in front of the mirror and ask “What in the world did you think?”. You will realize how much you are impairing your self-esteem without being aware of it.

Another way to deal with hurt feelings is to anchor yourself in the present. You’ve probably heard of the mindfulness technique. It can help you live in the present and forget the past and the future for a while, because that is where you experience pain.

Choose something you want to experience for a week. On Monday it can be how you breathe, on Tuesday how your feet step on the ground, on Wednesday how the water flows on your skin when you wash your hands, wash dishes or take a shower…

Do the same for the rest of the week. It will help you appreciate the little things you do and let you let go of those who hurt you.

Sticking to what hurts prevents us from enjoying the little things, because everything revolves around the pain – a pain we can let go at any time.

The fourth way to deal with hurt feelings will allow you to remove all drama from the situation you are going through. Emotions often cloud our perception, which makes everything seem awful. This is why you should try to put yourself in the worst situation.

Imagine that you and your partner are separating. You have stuck to a relationship that hurts and it’s time to end it. Sometimes the decision you have to make is clear to you, but fear consumes you and prevents you from acting. Even if it is difficult, put yourself in the worst situation.

So what is the worst thing that can happen? Maybe being alone, standing out from the rest of the friends because you do not have a partner… We suggest you write down all these difficult situations, but do not be dramatic. Therefore, you will realize that many of the things are not as serious as you think.

For each answer, try to give reasons why you would be hurt. In some cases, you will notice that you can not give a good answer. In others, you will be aware that the situation may hurt, but that what makes you suffer is to hold on to it.

Sticking to what is causing you pain will make you suffer. Therefore, all the ways we have discussed to deal with hurt feelings can give you a better understanding of everything that is happening around you, and therefore help you make a better decision.

Finally, the last way consists of a single question. What would you say if someone went through the same situation as you? Put yourself in his shoes. The answer to the question is what to do yourself. It will help you open your eyes.

We tend to hold on to pain, which makes it suffer. The irony is that we can let go of it whenever we want, but to achieve that we must be aware of what we are doing. How many times have you stuck to what hurt you? How did you overcome it?